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Jokes!
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What do you call a bull who is sleeping?
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What do you call a bear with no teeth?
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What do you call a pig that knows karate?
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What is the hardest part about having an ant as a pet?
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What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
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What kind of car does a Jedi drive?
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Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur's table?
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A limbo champion walked into a bar. He was immediately disqualified.
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Why does Waldo always wear stripes?
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Why was six afraid of seven?
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What's the opposite of irony?
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Why did the pillow cross the road?
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What is the best time of the year to go skydiving?
What is an astronaut's favorite part on a computer?
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
How do you get an astronauts baby to sleep?
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
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When do you stop at green and go at red?
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Why do bees have sticky hair?
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Where do crayons go on vacation?
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Why was the mathbook so sad?
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A bulldozer
A gummy bear
Pork chops
Putting the leash on
You can't tune-a-fish!
A Toy-Yoda
Sir Cumference
Because he doesn't want to be spotted.
Because seven eight nine
Wrinkly
To collect the chicken feathers
Fall
The space bar
They dribble all the time
In case she needed to draw blood
You Rocket!
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels!!
When you are eating a watermelon
Because they use honeycombs!
COLOR-ado!
It had so many problems
Riddles
I don't produce any light,
Yet I'm the brightest thing at night.
What am I? The moon.
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What is heavy forward but not backwards? A "Ton"
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What tastes better than it smells?
A Tongue
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What can travel for miles without ever moving an inch? A road
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Who's the only king to have won a Noble Prize? Martin Luther King.
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What can be broken by even the slightest sound? Silence
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No matter how big the jar, there's one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it? The lid
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What gets darker the more you clean it? A chalkboard
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During what month do people sleep the least? February, the shortest month.
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What do trees have in common?
Bark!
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What goes up but never down?
Your Age.
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What belongs to you but others use it more than you do?
Your name.
Knock knock jokes
Knock, knock,
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Don't cry it's just a joke.
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Knock, knock,
Who's there?
Abel.
Abel who?
A bull is chasing me --please let me in.
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Knock, knock,
Who's there?
Figs
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
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Knock, knock,
Who's there?
Mikey
Mikey who?
My key is stuck in the keyhole! Let me in!
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Skits
Man 1 pretends to drive a car and then Man 2 comes up and said, "Your car looks pretty down." Then Man1 says "Yeah, I popped a tire." Man 2 asked, "What are you going to do about it?" Man1 says "I'm going to pump it up."